Here are some short one-liners on "not so clean" accounting jokes. They are not meant to be offensive. They are here for some light moments in your life. Take it as a break from your mundane accounting career.
(1) I have never seen someone who can deplete his reserves twice in one night
(2) That's not what I meant when I asked you to liquidate my holdings
(3) If I could handle my own extension, I would never leave the house
(4) Hurry, it's depreciating rapidly
(5) I guess she had never seen such an impressive sustainable growth rate
(6) Well, would you believe me if I said I was just checking your wife for hidden assets?
(7) I guess there is a penalty for early withdrawal.
(8) A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read:
"Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be
at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read
as follows: "Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you
receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy
boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that l8 goes
into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."
There is life beyond just accounting!...but for now, get back to work!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young, I graduated from accounting school. I wanted to go on to law school.
They told me, "For law school, we need to know how big your balls are".
I refused to let them touch my balls. They told me to measure my balls diagonally myself. Then,
they figured out the area of my balls.
They told me, "You are 1/10th of an Inch too small ! You are not getting into law school !"
To this day, I am still an accountant.
But, I often think, if my Balls were only a little bigger, instead of the LITTLE PRICK THAT I AM,
I could have been A REALLY BIG ASSHOLE!!!